A Batshite New Year’s Resolution

My blog asked to be personified for a minute so it could announce its resolution for 2011:

Hey guys. I have a confession to make.

Okay. Deep breath.

In 2010 I wasn’t as batshite as I might have been. Like, I know I had the post about self-inflicted head abrasions, and the one about human extinction. But seriously. My name is Batshite. I think I could stand to be a little more deviant.

I’ve let you all down, and I feel terribly, but I’m going to make it up to you. My New Year’s resolution for 2011 is to try and murder the status quo, not by bludgeoning it repeatedly in the face with a shovel–that would be graphic, not to mention batshit–but perhaps by sprinkling ground glass in its cereal, or something.